Loving the inner you is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Loving the inner you means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. It means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others.
Inner power is being compassionate with yourself, let go of the past and start anew right now, today and move forward. Remind yourself often that you are worthy. As you find your inner power there are just two words you need to remember… Lighten up. That’s easy to say, but much more difficult to accomplish.
You’re aware of the change you want to make in your life and you understand where your problem behavior or situation originated. You want to change. Now it’s time for the next step. It’s time to show yourself some kindness. For the majority of us, this is the most difficult step of all. We find it much easier to love others than to love ourselves.
Think of the conversations you have had with yourself in the past. You looked in the mirror and perhaps you thought about how you hated your haircut, how old you looked, how unattractive you found yourself. Perhaps you told yourself you hated your clothes, your weight or just a blanket of “everything” about yourself. Wouldn’t it be great if you could change the way you felt about yourself? You can do it, and you can begin immediately just by showing yourself a little kindness.
We talk to ourselves all the time. Most of us tell ourselves some variation of the negative messages we have heard all our lives. We are just repeating the messages that have caused us so much pain and contributed to the negative way we view ourselves. What a difference we could make in our lives if we could make the talk positive and useful. Just as we learned to use self-talk as a motivational tool in Chapter 3, we can also use positive self-talk to learn to love ourselves.
Here are three phrases that I ask everyone say to themselves. I love and approve of myself. I am happy, healthy, safe and successful. I am worthy NOW. Some people will be able to say them with no problem. Other people will find them almost impossible to say, and even harder to believe. For people of notably low self-esteem, it’s important to say these faithfully every day, and say them out loud. This is the healthiest way to start a new positive conversation with yourself. Once you begin to believe them, you will have begun to find the power to change.
So what we speak out about ourselves or others, we attract. The negative words spoken about us by others or by ourselves become self-fulfilling prophesies. On the other hand, if the thoughts you are projecting about yourself are positive—if you get up in the morning and say to yourself, convincingly, “It’s a beautiful day and I am going to have success on this day”—that becomes your reality.
How do we know that self-talk works? One way we know is by looking at the impact that others’ words have on us. Most of us believe everything that adults told us when we were children. Those of you who are parents should be aware that your words have an incredibly important effect on your children.
Who got into your head and told you that you couldn’t do something? Who said that you were too old, too young, too stupid or too clumsy to do what you want to do? Who lied to you? Maybe they lied for what they thought were good reasons... maybe they thought they were protecting you or keeping you from making what they saw as a big mistake. But the fact is, they lied to you and told you that you could not do it. Today you still hear that voice in your head.
Many of us get no positive messages, and we spend our lives in pain, believing that we are no good. There is good in all of us. There is power in all of us. Accept the good that is within you. You have to want to change and then believe you can change. Change your self-talk to the POSITIVE.
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